might-have-beens and must-bes

last week i finally had a long over-due dinner with a good friend. although we see each other quite often, we seldom talk; and 'dinner-outs' are usually the time when we can catch up with one another's life. the dinner should be a celebration for me, my achievement. but having heard her stories, i'm quite envious… she's doing what i wished i have been doing - teaching and continuing graduate studies. within a year, hopefully, she will finished her masters; and i couldn't help but think what would my life be if i accepted the offer of my institute head four years ago. don't misenterpret me here, i love my work, being in the industry… but it's still a wishful thinking to have a work which i loved, being in the academe. still, after these four years, i think it's time to reevaluate my life. i'm getting older and should have more concrete plans for the future–i hope to see changes these coming months and be brave to accept them.